Hot Tubs

To answer Sara's question and get you all of the edge of your seats, hot tubs are fine to use if they are your own private hot tub and not the one at the YMCA.  Or, if you are on vacation and you are desperate to be warm, then it is ok to use the hot tub as long as you do not make eye contact with any of the other gross strangers sharing the hot tub with you.  It is smart to bring your own bottle of bleach and chlorine though. And when you get out of the hot tub, go immediately to your room and rinse off with a solution of the bleach and chlorine mixed with antibacterial soap.

You're Still Filthy

I've been thinking about getting rid of all the tubs in my house.  Baths are gross.  You just sit in some warm stagnate water and soak in your own filth.  You get out of a bath thinking you are all clean, but really you're still gross.   Maybe if I bought some Calgon and gotten taken away I might change my mind.  I'll get back to you.

Some Interesting Stuff

This morning I had two apple cinnamon cookies along with a diet coke.  Then a few hours later I had a small bowl of queso with a handful of chips.  About an hour after that I had two tacos from Del Taco along with some more queso and chips and another diet coke.  I'm planning on eating a crepe tonight from the Creperie. 

So Glad That's Done With

Hey, remember in the olden days when we used to blog?  We had to write up a whole long post about whatever was going on.  Then you had to go to everyone's blogs and read them and then post an obligatory comment.  It took hours.  Then if you didn't comment on everyone's and only a couple of blogs, then the ones you didn't comment on would get all offended because they knew you didn't read their blog that day.  It was exhausting.  Thank goodness for technology, so we don't have to do that anymore. I wonder if any of you guys are going to even read this?  If you don't comment I will know you didn't.  Then I'll get mad and unfriend you on Facebook.  Speaking of which, when is that going to be over with?

Ragnar Pictures

Don't get your hopes up. This blog post is not a come back. I was just too lazy to downsize my pictures so I could email to everyone. And by everyone I don't really mean everyone, just the ones who participated in the ragnar race. Go ahead and lookie-loo if you want though. I may even provide some commentary. Note, this was a 37 hour period and I only remembered the camera around hour 35. Too bad too, because there were loads of things to document.


Kerra, pretending to walk like she was sore when really she was ready to run another 10 miles.

Van #2, I took great care of these gize. You can tell cuz they're still alive.
Trent's face is my favorite.

I know my van was pretty worried about how my knuckle was doing. After careful nursing and neosporin, I think I might end up scarred for life.

I would have supported Trent here with his run, but I thought it more important to document since there were only hours left at this point.

Our van decoration.

Wild burros...four of them.

More burros. I didn't touch them because they were gross.

Mother of the Year, fa shizzle

I thought it was about time to give you all a few more excerpts from my parenting book.

1. When your kids get hurt, try to refrain from telling them to "suck it up" until after you get the x-ray results. It's one of those things they may remember when they get older.

2. When your child get his booster and is super sad like this:One way to cheer him up is to tell him he can be the one to let his older brother know he has to get a booster shot too. Totally works, see:3. When your kids get a hold of your camera and take a bazillion pictures of each other, make sure you look at each one carefully before you delete them. Cuz you could miss out on this:


4. When you have an old friend with photo skillz come into town, always take advantage of them by having them spend their Saturday taking pictures of your kids. Is it bad that I picked this one for my big framed one?

Why I Don't Drink Wine/Easter Bunny

Have you ever seen the movie A Walk in the Clouds? If not, go ahead and watch it, I'll wait.
You know that part where they are all out harvesting the grapes, then they squash them for the wine? (Here's a clip of it, hopefully you speak spanish) Here's a few points I'd like to make about it.
1. When she took off her shoes to step on the grapes, notice she didn't wash them. And also, when she took off her shoes she wasn't wearing socks. So she was out working in a field in shoes with out socks. Can you even imagine how stinky and sweaty her feet were? And she just stuck those things straight into the grape pit.
2. She had really long frizzy black hair, that wasn't pulled back in a hair net before she started swinging it all around in that grape pit. I know she was trying to be all sexy, but all I could think about was the stray long black frizzy hairs that are getting all tangled up in those grapes.

Maybe they have more sanitary ways of doing things now, but all the most expensive wine is the old stuff that was made back when people use their nasty feet to make it. So if I can't drink the best, then I may as well not even waste my time. And also because the prophet said not to, duh.

On another note. I can't get my bold button to turn off now. But, this is how I got my kids to go to bed and not wait up to catch the Easter Bunny in action.

CREEEEEEEEPY!!!!

So much to talk about.

Has it already been three weeks since my last post? Hmmm. What to do. What to do.

So the lion fell in love with the lamb

This Twilight beauty is at Hobby Lobby for only $199.00! It's also about as big as Howie. It's a big store, so if you have a hard time finding it, look over by all the Jesus statues.

Breaking Promises

I am not a woman of my word. 14 years ago I made a promise to never snowboard again. I broke that promise on Thursday afternoon. Dwight planned a quick mid-week family vacation up in snowy McCall, Idaho. While we were up there we spent a day at Brundage, snowboarding. If you don't believe I did it, come over here and check out my right hip. I'm pretty sure it's broken. I also have this picture with the ski hill in the background, looking all fake and WalMart studio-ish.

You may be thinking, "it's just like riding a bike, you never forget." Well....it's not. It's a pretty big blow to your ego when you're going down the hill and get passed up by your 4 year old yelling, "stay on your heels mom". Thanks for the tip Howie.
Speaking of Howie, look how fancy he is.

I See Dead People

Howie: I saw Jesus. He came back to earth.

Me: Really? Where did you see him?

Howie: He's right over at that picnic table playing his DS.

(Cue long hair, bearded skater dude hanging out at a picnic table. Like a thief in the night.)

Do you think Jesus prefers Mario to Pokemon?

Feeling the Love

Look who loves me twice as much as she loves you. (Or maybe more if you didn't even get one)

Don't think I'm not hanging them both up. Should I do it like this:

Or this:

A Christmas Miracle

In March of 2007, a couple of my sisters and I took a cruise to "beautiful Encinada, Mexico". (It's a quote, not my quote, but still a quote.) While we were on our shopping tour of "beautiful Encinada, Mexico" I came across this fireproof Gucci purse. Pretty sure it is the real deal.

That was almost 3 years ago, and since then I've bought other knock-off purses, but never actually used them. I have no idea where they are, and when I did know, I was too lazy to transfer all my Sonic and WalMart receipts into a new purse. As you can clearly see, the genuine leather is starting to peel away from the cloth handle making my real, fireproof Gucci purse look a little dumpy.
I've been talking about getting a new purse for the last couple months, but I'm all talk. I talk a lot, to a lot of people, and shockingly some of those people actually listen to me. My friend Anissa brought me over this beauty as a Chrismas present.

It's way bigger! Plus, it was filled with these treats.

There is no way anyone will ever be able to top this gift! Thanks Anissa!

Time for some editing

Dwight and I went out last night. I gave the kids my usual lecture about the rules while I am gone. I am really good at the lectures. I went out in the garage to find my shoes, and then came back in to put them on. I guess the kids thought when I went into the garage I left, because when I came back in Calvin jumped up real quick from where he had Howie pinned down on the ground. Howie was crying with his hands over his face and Calvin had something hidden behind his back. All I had to do was give Calvin my "look". (You should all learn this.) He showed me the Cookie monster stamp he had been hiding from me. Poor Howie got Stamped. Doesn't he look so super sad?

Can you believe I thought my kids would just sit on the couch with a blanket, quietly watching tv the whole time I was gone? (Cuz that was what I told them to do in my lecture) Looks like I need to rewrite a few chapters of my parenting book.

Reviewing Reviews

About a year and a half ago, Dwight bought me this fancy laser jet printer. I'd show you a picture, but you can just trust me, it's awesome. But you know what's not awesome? Buying new ink for it. I went to the regular IRL store to get a new black cartridge and it was $85. Too rich for my blood. I figured I'd go online and search out a cheaper option. I found a place through Amazon that sold it for $37...a significant difference. I decided I better look at the reviews first. There were 6 of them. 5 of the reviews gave a 1 star and they were angry, misspelled 1 star reviews. Then there was that lone 5 star review written by John C. Bendheim. It was just a bit too properly written. I clicked on the button to read other reviews written by John C. Bendheim. I suggest you do it too. This guy is quite the online shopper. He has a daughter named Susie who tried the homeopathic calendula cream and loved it. Even though I counted at least 5 dvd purchases, he still wrote in a 5 star review for the purchase of Scenes from a sexual nature, "I don't usually buy DVD's".

I especially loved his review of the Popeye dvd he bought, "Popeye soothes the spirit by getting out of jams in a simple and quick way. While it would be better that he didn't punch his enemies, at least everyone is alive and well each time he eats gets his dietary fiber, calcium and folic acid. The technical quality of the DVD is fine."

Looks to me like I can no longer trust the opinions of complete strangers on the internet. What is this world coming to?

Screws

It is FREEZING here!!! We got up Monday morning and go out to the car to take the kids to school, and my new tire had a flat. Seems someone ran over a giant screw. Dwight had already left for work (seems to happen every time I have a flat tire) so I was on my own. Dwight suggested I just keep the kids home from school...rude. I decided to teach Calvin how to change a flat instead. What a man.

The kids finally got to school at about 10:30. Then today at about 10:30 I got a call from the school to come pick up my kids. The power was out and they couldn't heat the building. "All students MUST be evacuated" <---you'd think it was a bomb threat. Put a jacket on already. That's two days of schedule ruining.

Old Friends who really aren't old because they're my same age

I went to this baby shower last week that I wasn't invited too. I ran into one of my favorite blog stalkers. She made such a big deal about my pathetic blog. It was just like the paparazzi. Now I know how Lady Gaga feels.

Look how nice I was to let her take a picture with me. I let her do it one other time.

She looks exactly the same as she did nearly 20 years ago, she's even still with the same guy. Me and Edward broke up. It was on account of his big head. I'm like shallow Hal.

You're right, WalGreens never disapoints!

Look-a-Like

Howie says he's grandpa for Halloween.

Deer Oh Dear

There comes a time in every boys life when becomes a man. There are a few different things that can make this happen. In Bailey's case, it involved a gun.
Over the summer, my dad got an idea to put Bailey in a hunter's education course. He also took Bailey target shooting several times. Today was the first day of hunting season. Last night Dwight, my dad and Bailey packed up the truck and went out for Bailey's first hunting trip. I figured they'd be gone until late tonight, and come home empty handed. (Maybe it was just me hoping) But, at about 9:00 this morning I got a call from Bailey telling me he got his deer and they were heading home. He got one on his first shot. He didn't actually kill it with that one shot, and the deer was crying, which made Bailey cry, and grandpa had to come in and finish it up. By the time he got home, he was pretty proud.
Look at my sweet little boy posing next to his first kill. So precious.

Dwight was asking where he should hang it up and as a joke I told him there was a hook on the front porch. You can't hear it, but I'm totally screaming in the background, "I was joking, take it down!!"


I'm pretty sure this is against the CC&R's.


Bailey getting in one more pose before it gets cut up into cute little Bambi bits.


He shot it right through the butt.

Dwight watched a YouTube video on how to cut it up. Mmmm delicious, right?

He got every bit of it. Just like the indians, we're not wasting a bit.

This is also the view from my kitchen window right now.
Calvin's wanting to make a necklace out of this. The skin is drying out on the grass waiting to be made into a belt.
I have to say, I'm a little grossed out in my house. I for sure will not be hanging out in the backyard for awhile.